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Are marketing people shallow people?

January 20, 2009 | Author: Vinh

It’s funny how your way of thinking changes depending of the task you have at hand.
-I often go into “Creative mode”, where nothing really makes sense, and I’m positive about anything. Yes, maybe onion juice is a possible product and some people will actually like this.

But I tried to analyze my “Marketing state”. When trying to make up a marketing message or leaflet.

How’s that marketing state?

- My attention span is 5 seconds. I do not understand long sentences and complicated words. I want short and simple statements. “That product will make you happy.“

- I am deeply self centered. What’s in it for me? That’s the only thing I care for. If you’re not adressing my need… you’re not talking to me.

- I have some trigger keywords that make my eyes shine like a baby in front of a candy. Such of those are “sex”, “money”, “easy”.

- I feel insecure about myself. I need people to give me my confidence back. Or if they make me feel more insecure, tell me how I can get my confidence back. “Why your boss hates you… and how you can talk your way up!“

- I don’t think. I feel things. I have mental images popping in my mind. I don’t trust my brain, I trust my guts. You can tell when something is catchy, because it sounds cool, it has a twist.

- I want to rationalize my feelings. I hope there are some arguments I can find, so that I can throw them at other people when they ask me why I like that. Once I have decided that I like something, please help me convince my rational brain.

That might look shallow. But it’s actually the deepest you can go.
Marketing should be about feeling. Feelings are the way the subconsciou mind found a way to your consciousness. That’s actually the deepest you can go.

When you analyze your feelings,
- Try to understand the modalities involved. Is it the sound, the music, the pictures, the concept that strikes your mind.
- Use different variations to explore the experience provided by the message. You will then understand better why one specific message works.

If you have any other tips, I’d be glad to hear from it.

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Flexibility. Is there anything else, really?

January 12, 2009 | Author: Vinh

3 a.m. Nobody’s outside. But a german girl and me.
Look left, look right before crossing the street.
And there I go.
German girl shouts “Careful! It’s still green traffic light!” Not a single car anywhere.
Look left, look right. Nothing but cultural differences.

We often make fun of germans and their process binding capabalities.
Their machine tooling and car industry.
But figures speak for themselves…
French people 40 billion deficit on the commercial balance.
German people 120 billion excess on the commercial balance.

But why is that? I will have to use cliches, but german people must be more efficient. (and are also known for that).

My opinion is that abiding to policies and processes more than latins is what enables Germans to produce top quality products requiring difficult specs and craftmanship.

Latins are known to be hard to manage by process and would try to see those, more like constraints. So by having everyone trying to optimize its own field, you don’t reach a global optimum.

That’s how you reach the top level of quality… you put the best processes possible to reduce costs, decrease time-to-market, increase quality indicators.

But Hey!!!
We don’t live in a static world. Things are bond to change. Processes are short-lived. What used to be might not apply any more. If processes had to be rethought overall everytime one change was introduced, we would spend time making processes.
We would not get any work done.
If processes should be applied all the time, then you would get stuck behind while the others cross the road. Yes, they noticed there were no cars, while you were stuck at the red light.

This view implies my view only – be well aware that those are cliches and not meant to be discriminating against any nationality.

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In the crowd. With the bees.

January 6, 2009 | Author: Vinh

We think we make a difference. We do.
My friend Philippe said:
“I exist. No other physical object can be at the same time and at the same place as I am.”

Looking at the space I have taken, the one of another Vinh, the one of another guy or girl or animal, I have created a trail of disturbance in that world.

Like a bee, I have spread my own uncertainty in the world. Some in Asia, Uk, Us, Africa. I have been at some place, some time, no other things could, but me.

In this way, I feel I bring meaning.
Guy Kawasaki, Loic Le Meur are talking to me via twitter… Hell yeah. I must be important. E-bay, Amazon, Voyages-sncf, they send me private mail. I’m not anybody.

Unique, like everyone else.
My mind wanders around. I met so many similar people on the net. All spreading the same stories, forwarding the same links. We spot honey like bees do. We dance, we tweet. The buzzness.
So we buzz around. Latest trend, latest fad.

It’s a big swarm. We never sleep. Chinese subcontrators are with me on MSN. Argentinians follow. It’s late. It’s not late. Time does not stop. It goes on.

The sweet music of twhirl, msn, gtalk…coming from the whole world.
It is a distant symphony to my ear.

I receive a stream of useless content…
” New Apple product launch : the Wheel

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
“
Laughed. Like thousands of people. Trying to step outside the crowd makes you join the crowd of people who try to do the same.

But you make good friends there.

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Streaming video will now make money

January 5, 2009 | Author: Vinh

I am always amazed by what a few lines of code can produce…
And how much money they will make…

Those students at Stanford (well Indian or Pakistanese)can embed videos in videos, as if those were really integrated to the movie.

Now you can smoothly put geolocalized ads in every movie you stream on the internet.
Another victory for marketing.

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The power of Yes, No, Maybe… or something…

January 1, 2009 | Author: Vinh

“Yes Man”
Recently I watched that movie with Jim Carey, also known for being the Mask, Bruce almighty, Liar Liar and all time failure the Cable Guy.

Ok. I’ll make a long story short.
Jim Carey says No to everything. His life is shit.
Goes to a seminar. Guru tells him to become a “Yes Man”.
Jim Carey then says Yes to everything.
Discovers new opportunities behind seemingly unappealing proposals.

Here you go. Yes. Unleash the power of Yes.
Give your mind a positive attitude for welcoming new events.

I remember back the improv lessons I took in Supaero:
- “Yes, and” are the words.
“No”’s were not allowed. It forced us to welcome anything that was coming on the stage. All carefully crafted plans were reduced to dust after one word, bringing us the extreme flexibility and unpredictability of life. Accidents are no longer accidents, they are part of the game. They are opportunities.

What else? That’s still the luck factor. It has been proven that people with a relaxed mind and more positive attitude are more likely to be lucky…
You being obsessed with you concerns are not going to find out those new opportunities that live next door or that wait in the backyard.

Yes brings more Yes. Yes says Yes to Yes.

After all that, lots of people write about the power of NO.
That’s my next post.

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Why I worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster

December 27, 2008 | Author: Vinh

As many of you did, I kinda paused a little when I was facing some facebook questions for setting up my account a year ago (or so).
One of those were “Do you have any religious views?“
I said “Yes”.

I worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

And quite interestingly, we are now more than 100 people (in France), declaring ourselves Flying Spaghetti Monster zealots.

But what is the Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster?
This cult, also known as pastafarism, is a direct response to “intelligent design” being taught in some schools in US. (in 2005)

Meaning : “If God is being taught in school, so should the Flying Spaghetti Monster”.
For some of you, who might not know the basic principles, here they are:
The flying invisible monster is all-knowing and most of the time invisible.
You can not find any proof of its existence, because it can travel back through time and erase all evidence.
As well it has left some fake evidence to lure people into believing in Darwinism.

Some of the footage of the Flying Spaghetti Monster are still existing to create confusion.

Whether the FSM exists or not, I wonder if all this is just a game to entertain such a mighty entity.

Some things you might need to know:
- The Earth was created by the FSM after drinking heavily
- Pastafarist heaven is made of beer volcanoes and strippers
- Friday is a holy day. No working on friday.
- Pirates are divine beings. As they disppeared, global warming rose. Therefore they were preventing it. The pirate costume is the official clothing for pastafarists.

Well I hope you’ve understood more about that religion. As they say:
“rAmen”

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Competitive eating subculture

December 16, 2008 | Author: Vinh

Last year, a friend of mine ate a hamburger with 8 burgers for his birthday.
Yes, I said 8.

You know why he made it?
He had technique.
Bite by bite, he slowly swallowed the beast with method. He was cutting the hamburger like a pile of kebab meat.

Congratulations, JB. I won’t publish the pictures, I promised.

This really got me interested in that fabulous sport that is Competitive eating.

What is competitive eating?
Born during the 4th of July, where America celebrates abundance, people face off to see who can eat the most. The most burgers, the most beans, the most wings… whatever is greasy or disgusting.
One of the major leagues, the IFOCE has gained popularity. The categories are well defined, and the rules are strict. To see the records, it’s here.

Once an all-american activity, the fever has caught up with Japan, and soon, skinny japanese would compete as well.
The famous Kobayashi became famous for being the 6-time-champion of the famous hot-dog contest.

Kobayashi(65kg) was later beat by Joey Chestnut (102 kg).

But you’ll ask me:
How do skinny japanese people stand up to thick-boned americans ?
Method and training.
Actually, experience show that obese people develop a fat belt. The amount of fat in their stomach does not help the guts to properly stretch. Therefore, what seemed an advantage becomes in a hindrance for high amount of food!

Kobayashi drinks water extensively to help stretch his stomach at times, therefore gaining a competitive advange over less stretchy stomachs.
With a technique that consists of maximizing the amount of food for each bite.
-splitting the sausage in 2 (Salomon’s method)
-dipping the bun in water or soda
-forcing the food down the oesophagus with a shake. (Kobayashi shake)

Don’t try this at home.

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The beauty of unsupervised learning.

December 1, 2008 | Author: Vinh

As I previously wrote: life is an algorithm.
Everything we do are outputs of a complex device.

The rules put pressure on a system that develop itself and become something surprizing. That’s how we got where we are.

Sometimes, the pure beauty of pure and plain geometrical forms simply astonishes me.

I recognize the madness of men passed to gentle rectangles forced to fight each other in a quest for survival. No wonder they take such human behavior.

That also brings back the question from within… Am I a rectangle?
Am I a collection of rectangle?

Computer says “Yes”. Counts the pixels. In the matrix.

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Saver lines… how to recover from audience lack of response

November 26, 2008 | Author: Vinh

After some experience doing presentation for Airbus, I have faced some amazing lack of response, when I was really waiting for bursts of laughters.

I am not a clown, and I have feelings.
That’s why I share those saver lines.

What to do or say when telling bad jokes:
- “I’m pretty sure I brushed my teeth this morning.” (while approaching your hand towards your mouth and blowing on it)
- You take money of your wallet and you pretend to bribe someone to laugh next time.
- You say “Dang! My wife told me this would be funny”
- “Bob, I said it. You owe me fifty bucks.”
- You say “I just love carambars. Now, I know I should just enjoy the candy and leave the rest”. (only works in France).
- “What a great audience”, Timmy style, or “Hi my name is Troy MacClure” and quickly change the subject.

Basically, making fun of yourself always works.
- “You have the HF or VHF choice. High French accent or Very high french accent.” at the beginning. Then every time you have a silence you throw in “Frrrench humorrr” with a terrible accent. Works everytime.
- “OoooKayyy. Please do not take into account what I just said for the evaluation. Really.Please?”

I collected from greatpublispeaking.com

=> Do any of you out there speak English?
=> I’ve got a book for sale outside that explains these jokes. You may want to pick up a copy.
=> (If one person is laughing) Will you be kind enough to run around the room so it looks like everyone is having fun?
=> You have marvelous self-control.
=> I’ve got 20 more bad jokes just like that one and no one gets out until you start laughing.
=> [Pick out a well-known person in the crowd] Joe that’s the last time I’m using one of your jokes.
=> I know you’re out there, I can hear you breathing.
=> I was waiting on you a little on that one.
=> That was a Polaroid joke. It takes one minute to get it.
=> Everyone doesn’t have to be funny all the time and I just proved it.

When the expected unexpected happens:
- Powerpoint bugs: “I had some nice visuals: here they are!” you show a small sheet of paper. Or “I did not know Boeing also made laptops”.
- Mike goes down (microphone bugs). You start a charade.
- Your fly’s unzipped. Pretend it’s style, and encourage people to follow you. Blame them for being too conservative.
- Out of time. Quick conclusion.
Don’t make any allusion to sex even if it is tempting. Just finish slowly and pretend this was an appetizer, they’ll have to talk to you to get the real stuff.

Just get maximum scripted answers you can use when any occasion happens. Someone witty is just someone who has something to say in every situation.

See the following video to see a fantastic comeback.

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What’s going to be the new discrimination?

November 20, 2008 | Author: Vinh

Obama is the new US president.
Woosh… that’a big step.

I saw on TV old black people crying,because they knew that the world as they knew it had changed. They could tell their grandchildren, that they could, as well, become president.

Striking moment. I could feel that the world had changed.

It has changed. So what?

Discrimination has just changed. We will discriminate other things.
Of course, someone homosexual could become US president.

But what about… a robot?

I am not joking, guys. What about a robot?
Japanese culture has been studying and exploring the future of human relationship with machines. Whether is it is Astro-Boy, Chobits or the Time of Eve.
Japanese people, with an ageing population, a love for technology, naturally endorse the use of robots and androids (human shaped robots).

With Artificial Intelligence increasing, the robots will be hard to tell from humans.
From then, why should they not be given equal rights as humans?
Why should they be treated as objects? Individuality will be a random function.

Maybe they would make sounder decisions, than a real person.

If you ask me that’s going to be the future of discrimination and that will be a very hot topic in a few years. I’ve taken my side. I am pro-robot.

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