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Saver lines… how to recover from audience lack of response

After some experience doing presentation for Airbus, I have faced some amazing lack of response, when I was really waiting for bursts of laughters.

I am not a clown, and I have feelings.
That’s why I share those saver lines.

What to do or say when telling bad jokes:
- “I’m pretty sure I brushed my teeth this morning.” (while approaching your hand towards your mouth and blowing on it)
- You take money of your wallet and you pretend to bribe someone to laugh next time.
- You say “Dang! My wife told me this would be funny”
- “Bob, I said it. You owe me fifty bucks.”
- You say “I just love carambars. Now, I know I should just enjoy the candy and leave the rest”. (only works in France).
- “What a great audience”, Timmy style, or “Hi my name is Troy MacClure” and quickly change the subject.

Basically, making fun of yourself always works.
- “You have the HF or VHF choice. High French accent or Very high french accent.” at the beginning. Then every time you have a silence you throw in “Frrrench humorrr” with a terrible accent. Works everytime.
- “OoooKayyy. Please do not take into account what I just said for the evaluation. Really.Please?”

I collected from

=> Do any of you out there speak English?
=> I’ve got a book for sale outside that explains these jokes. You may want to pick up a copy.
=> (If one person is laughing) Will you be kind enough to run around the room so it looks like everyone is having fun?
=> You have marvelous self-control.
=> I’ve got 20 more bad jokes just like that one and no one gets out until you start laughing.
=> [Pick out a well-known person in the crowd] Joe that’s the last time I’m using one of your jokes.
=> I know you’re out there, I can hear you breathing.
=> I was waiting on you a little on that one.
=> That was a Polaroid joke. It takes one minute to get it.
=> Everyone doesn’t have to be funny all the time and I just proved it.

When the expected unexpected happens:
- Powerpoint bugs: “I had some nice visuals: here they are!” you show a small sheet of paper. Or “I did not know Boeing also made laptops”.
- Mike goes down (microphone bugs). You start a charade.
- Your fly’s unzipped. Pretend it’s style, and encourage people to follow you. Blame them for being too conservative.
- Out of time. Quick conclusion.
Don’t make any allusion to sex even if it is tempting. Just finish slowly and pretend this was an appetizer, they’ll have to talk to you to get the real stuff.

Just get maximum scripted answers you can use when any occasion happens. Someone witty is just someone who has something to say in every situation.

See the following video to see a fantastic comeback.

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